The dramatic changes that came about in response to Covid-19 have created profound, and in many cases, unexpected shifts on the planet. As a result, all sorts of emotions naturally arise. Simply having externally imposed changes to routines can elicit fear, worry, or frustration – as well as joy, gratitude, and silence. Concerns about the impact of the virus on health (for society more broadly, as well as for specific loved ones and oneself) and the economy can similarly result in diverse and contradictory emotional and cognitive responses.
From my perspective, this time has created incredible opportunities for personal reflection and growth. Even so, I also honor that, for many people, simply holding it together is quite an accomplishment. I wanted to share some things that have made this time feel rich with possibility for me. On the other hand, I am also aware that most of us have more “shoulds” than we have time to pursue, so please explore any ideas that resonate with you with no guilt about the ideas you leave behind.
To be clear, I am lucky to have very fortunate circumstances. While I am unemployed and eager to launch a new career in data analytics (I earned an MS in April), I live with my love and our dog, and we aren’t worried about paying bills right now. I am 49 and he is 50, so we are in a risk group, though we are not in the most concerning risk groups. I do have beloved older relatives and neighbors, a sister with an immune challenge, and a sister working as a nurse on the intensive Covid floor. So, I am practicing vigilance with regard to precautions and checking in with loved ones. I’m so grateful for easy electronic communications!
Working with Mutable Routines
Routines can be quite useful for both efficiency and balance. One way to help children to self-regulate is to establish clear schedules. Using picture or text schedules that they understand and use can be especially helpful. Often, being able to check items off a list provides children (and adults!) with a welcome sense of calm and control when the world feels unpredictable. Even when life doesn’t go according to plan, it can be useful to review the schedule, rearranging tasks to ensure that necessary steps get completed.
Making Time for Connection and Self-care
I’ve found that it is vital to schedule activities for self-care and connection. For example, I schedule meditation, time in nature, and exercise every day. My boyfriend and I enjoy meals together, and our 10-year-old dog gets a walk or two daily. Also, my boyfriend and I designate Sunday and/or Monday as “Family Day.” We might hike, do home projects, stroll around a local lake with our dog, make wine, or (hopefully soon!) camp on Family Days. To maintain connections with the community, I continued paying the monthly membership for the small, independently owned yoga studio I frequent. And, I take part in the Facebook Live yoga sessions they stream. As well, I connect virtually for meditations with a few lovely groups. In addition, we’re checking in regularly with our older neighbors and my parents.
Compassionately Observing Emotions
This time of unpredictability is ripe with opportunities to notice our internal experiences. It is essential to work with mental health professionals if needed. There are numerous telehealth options now, providing guidance without exposure to viruses. Mental health professionals have warned that existing conditions can be exacerbated by the current stressors. As well, the stress may be too much for people who don’t usually need extra guidance – particularly if those around them are also feeling stressed out. For me, I’ve found that it is helpful to notice and explore uncomfortable feelings (frustration, helplessness, anger, sadness, numbness, etc.) with a compassionate eye. I witness where in the body the emotions are held and breathe love into those spaces. As well, I notice the stories that are associated with those emotions – not to believe the stories, to anchor more deeply in them, or to refute them – but simply to compassionately intuit the thoughts associated with uncomfortable emotions. Often, once the stories are plainly seen, they lose their hold, resulting in greater peace and ease.
Loving-Kindness Meditation
I love Metta meditation any time, and I’ve found that it is especially helpful during this pandemic. I recently posted a simple guided Metta meditation. There are many others available online, in case that one doesn’t resonate with you. When you feel the weight of tremendous suffering in the world, it is enormously beneficial to offer these blessings of loving-kindness to yourself, your loved ones, and the whole world.
Celebrating Nature
I live in beautiful Colorado, and I have always enjoyed gardening and hiking here. Even so, I’ve found that getting out in nature is especially essential now. One practice that I have added is to photograph and video moments in nature. That practice has been wonderful in drawing my eye to the beauty that surrounds me. It also focuses my mind on the present. For fun, I created new Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/joysedge) and YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwvmTtipADv0r5eZeIU48Ow) pages to share the visions. My boyfriend and I are also planning our vegetable and herb gardens. Last year’s scallions have already returned and made their way into several meals. We have several new pots for herbs, leafy greens, and squashes.
Gratitude
When things feel rough, it can be especially helpful to reflect on that for which you feel grateful. It can be simple – the smile of a loved one, the return of spring grass, a tasty meal… Or, larger concerns – good health, available resources, a safe place to live. I’ve found that it is a profoundly satisfying practice to consciously reflect on gratitude daily. Once you start, most find a surprising number of things for which to be grateful.
I hope you and your loved ones are thriving in this unusual time! Please let me know what has worked for you for balance, joy, and deeper understanding.
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